#30DaysofHope - Carley

"My story began at 19 weeks, when I unexpectedly started leaking amniotic fluid. We were told that I was experiencing PPROM (a premature rupture of membranes)…essentially, my water had broken. We were told there wasn't a whole lot to be done besides wait and hope to reach viability. So, I went on strict bedrest and that's exactly what we did. Twice weekly ultrasounds, countless blood tests, and multiple hospital stays and scares BUT, our little fighter stayed in there. I was induced at 34 weeks and ended up having a C-section after a failed induction. We knew that our sweet boy would be in the NICU but we had no idea for how long or what complications by horrendous pregnancy might cause him. Before I was even done being sewn up, my husband and brand new baby were whisked away to the NICU to begin treatment. There is no lonelier feeling. I struggled for weeks because I felt like I had missed so much with him in the NICU. I felt like I had missed out on essential bonding time. On top of that, I developed a severe urinary infection after my C-Section and wasn't able to visit the hospital every day. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. Trying to balance wanting to spend every minute with your baby and giving yourself space to recovery is awful.

In the end, we were blessed with a two week NICU stay...knowing it could have been MUCH longer. Our little guy has had a rough go since that time, though. He developed COVID-19 at just 6 weeks old and has had many respiratory problems. We recently had a two week hospital stay in the PIC floor due to respiratory failure. The sound of the machines, the constant checking, the unbelievable fear came rushing back from our NICU days. You may leave the NICU but the NICU truly never leaves you. I'm so grateful for our amazing support system and the fantastic doctors and nurses at our local children's hospital. It takes a village to raise a baby and when you have a NICU baby, that village is even larger."
-NICU Mom, Carley