Here With Me

"My sweet little one,
Look at us here
Cozied up in the hospital chair
I just want you near

Your skin against mine
I count every heartbeat
Admitted to this room
Is not how we should meet

I have loved you since I saw
Those tiny pink lines
And even here in this room
Your eyes still shine

I watch the clock tick on
I count ceiling tiles
I close my eyes and escape with you
Just for a little while

I’ve spent so much time
Probably too long
Wondering why my body failed us
Wondering where it all went wrong

I have cried and I’ve cursed
Felt every feeling in this seat
I’m begging God to heal you
From your head to your feet

Nurses pace the halls
As I hold you so close
They peep through the blinds
They see me taking more photos

Tiny toes and long cords
I long for the day
That you’re free from these lines
That we can take you away

Bringing you into the world
is the best thing I’ve done
But I’m wishing for a moment of normalcy
I really need just one

Doctors look at you each day
They tell us so many things
But all we want them to say is
“It’s time to go! Pack your belongings!”

…it’s still not time
There’s no where else for me to be
So we’ll turn the lights off
And you can stay here with me."

NICU Mama, Taylor