#30DaysofHope- Day 10 Alex

6 months out of the NICU and honestly, this was a hard piece to write.

When did I have hope while in there?

I flick through my hundreds of photos and ask myself, which picture is during a time when I felt hope during my 5 months there?

It's hard to say.

I would feel it for a moment, and then say, "oh, but then this happened to her, so my hope was gone." My NICU experience was as every Nurse and Doctor said it would be; a roller coaster.

But one thing I could always count on were her milestones.

Albeit, sometimes we would repeat certain milestones, (we attempted to get off all types of oxygen 3 times), but nonetheless; when we hit one, you BET I was ready with my milestone cards and my phone to snap a photo.

And the staff was always ready to help me out with lighting ,or holding her, or moving wires out of the way. This was our moment, a glimmer of hope, a step closer to that magical exit door to home, to our life without the beeping, the probing, the wires, and the scary phone calls. To our official start as a family.

This month is my daughter's 1st birthday. To say that I am in disbelief that this year has gone by so slow in the NICU, yet so fast at home is an understatement. If you asked me almost a year ago if I thought I would make it to this point, I would've looked at you with tear stained eyes and said "I don't know, but I can't lose her."

One thing that was said to me over and over is you have to have hope and belief that your girl will fight to survive, and boy did she fight. She continues to fight every day; to gain weight, to reach more milestones, to heal, to stay safe during a global pandemic, and more.

She is my Warrior Princess. NICU/Preemie Parents, your hope may wane from time to time, but never forget, your children are warriors and you are too. Fight on with hope and with love!