#30DaysofBrave Day 21 - Sian

It's strange to think that just about a year ago our beautiful Nansi was almost reaching 20 weeks gestation. Little did we know, as we stared at our bean swimming around on the ultrasound scan, that we would meet her just shy of nine weeks later.

At 28+2, at the hairdressers, I started having what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions, although I now know that Nansi had started to make her way into the world. After 24 hrs of regular but manageable pains, I decided I would head to the hospital to get checked out, and after four hours waiting (alone due to Covid), the doctor said that I was 1cm dilated, and that our baby would be arriving in less than 24 hrs. In fact, and luckily for Nansi, she managed to hold off for three more days so that she had the maximum amount of steroids before she was born. She held out until November 17th-World Premature Baby Day. The diva.

The next three months were a complete whirlwind, an intense rollercoaster of emotions that no new parent should have to go through. No one is built to cry every day for three months. No one is built to exist on that level of anxiety day in day out. But nevertheless, the NICU parents all soldier on, propping each other up and staying strong for their littles ones. Covid meant I couldn't hug the friends I'd made at the unit when they were upset. Covid meant that either myself or my husband had to make important decisions about our baby alone. Covid meant my daughter didn't see my face properly for 78 days. Being a NICU mam is hard. Being a pandemic NICU mam is harder.

We were one of the lucky families that made it out relatively unscathed. Nansi had a slow but steady journey, surrounded by wonderful doctors and nurses who supported us around the clock and who did everything in their power to make sure Nansi survived. After 78 days we made it home, still on oxygen, but healthy and happy. She would go on to shake off her oxygen requirement eight weeks later, and since then has thrived under the care of the neonatal outreach team.

I will never forget the friends I made at the NICU or their little warriors. We are bonded for life. During those three months I met some the bravest people I will ever meet.

For those of you still going through hell, you will get there. Believe in yourselves and lean on each other. You've got this!