A new look at the holiday season.
I spent 23.75 hours a day in a bed for 9 1/2 weeks through Thanksgiving and Christmas preparing for an early arrival, here are some thoughts and tips for bedrest and NICU families during the holidays.
It is one of our best memories.
Even though the baby was not at a “viable” age (I hate that word btw), I would say it is one of our most memorable times. Our world and every day activities stopped when we went into the hospital. We had a new routine as our focus was becoming “viable” and seeing our daughter be born. In our hospital stay, there was a shift in our mindset of what was truly important. While we loved the traditions that we had done for many years with our families, this year, our focus was different, and it was a new holiday. For us, one more day in the hospital meant one more day closer to viability.
There were no decorations at our house this year, but our small hospital room was overflowing with lights, garland, and decorations. Our Holidays before the hospital were spent going to different houses during the holidays, making different dishes to take, transporting presents, and enjoying the day. This year, we ordered Cracker Barrel and served it on a tablecloth on the emergency delivery table. We ate on paper plates in my hospital room and everyone came to our room in the hospital. Our family expanded while in the hospital with our doctors, nurses, and other staff that we had come to know. It was such a blessing.
During my entire stay before the NICU, our focus was one day at a time as they were long days. It would have been easy to focus on what we had lost, such as my freedom to be out of bed, or go do the holidays as normal. Fighting to keep our pregnancy and have our daughter make viability made the focus not be on the perceived loss, but on the possible future we would have as a family of 3.
It was a precious holiday for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Spending the holidays in the NICU taught me Christmas may fall on December 25th, BUT you can have Christmas anytime of the year. Society, family, friends may insist that Christmas can only be “on the date”, BUT any holiday can happen at anytime and anywhere and still be amazing. It also taught me to not feel guilty about putting your family first and what you need in the NICU.
To the friends and family of a family in the NICU this holiday season, here is how to help them.
Gas cards, restaurant cards, hotel points for a stay, parking passes are a great way to help a NICU family. We lived about 40 minutes away from the hospital and needed to drive two cars and had to pay for parking each day. I would drive over around 9 a.m. and my husband would come to the hospital after work at
Parking would be expensive without the passes, but the passes were not inexpensive either. Being at the hospital all day, a gift card to get lunch or dinner would be a treat for a family as well. It was a good break to go and have dinner with my husband during the shift change as well. We were lucky to have a three week stay in a guest house at the hospital, but were unable to justify hotel stays for $100+/night. If you have any points for a hotel stay, that would be so appreciated for an unexpected call from the hospital in the night to be able to be close to your baby.
This is a picture of me on bedrest at our Christmas in the hospital. I love Boyd's bears and my husband Josh got this giant bear I wanted for our daughter Cydney. :)
Stay strong NICU mamas. Love, Charity