Being Brave in the NICU is....

“What is being brave in the NICU?

Being brave in the NICU is having your baby, that you carried and protected in your womb, whisked away often times by strangers, with barely a first look at your little one, as you lay being stitched up on an operating table or being cleaned up from delivery.

Being brave in the NICU is having to immediately trust those same strangers to make the best decisions for your medically fragile baby.

Being brave in the NICU is not knowing when you’ll be allowed to go see your baby and having to cope with that the best way possible… but not really coping with it at all.

Being brave in the NICU is trying to pump because you’re told it’s best, but also draining your mental health as your trying to navigate the NICU, recover and heal yourself, and process the trauma… all on little to no sleep. But knowing it’s the only thing to do for your baby and feeling guilty if you need/want to switch to formula.

Being brave is having to check-in at a desk and receive a visitors sticker that must be worn at all times to see your baby.

Being brave in the NICU is asking permission to touch or hold your baby… And often times being too scared or nervous to do so.

Being brave in the NICU is walking in, knowing you’ll see monitors and tubes all attached to your tiny baby… and being able to see past them to your sweet baby’s face.

Being brave in the NICU is spending hours learning new medical terms and conditions, making it to rounds with the doctors and nurses, and learning special techniques on how to hold, change, or feed your baby.

Being brave in the NICU is no matter how tired we are, we are going to the NICU to feed, receive updates, and get extra snuggles.

Being brave in the NICU is being the most vulnerable you’ve ever been. It’s taking a step back and allowing strangers to step in when your instincts are to comfort and protect. It’s having a sudden burst of emotions and crying it out, often times in a room alone because you just want to be with your baby. It is accepting it’s okay to show weakness, to cry, and let the meltdown of emotions happen. It’s knowing it’s okay to ask for help.

Why is being brave associated with being strong? Most NICU parents are told, “You’re so strong, I don’t know how you do it.” But truthfully? If it was you in our position, you would understand we are falling apart day to day. We are in fact not strong, we’re wearing our hearts on our sleeves, praying and advocating nonstop. And we do it because we love our baby so so much and would do anything to see them grow and thrive. Just as any parent would. We fake the smile and act strong, try to return to what little “normalcy” we have. We tell everyone things are going great and are going to be okay, and while we’re hopeful they will be, we never know for sure.

Bravery is defined as ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage. And NICU parents are the very definition of being brave. Day in and day out, with what feels like no end in sight, they show up to see their baby, ready to leave a piece of their heart in the NICU that night.” NICU mama + Project NICU Ambassador, Morgan