#30DaysofBrave- Day 5- Kaydi

“My NICU bravery story took a while for me to accept that I was still a brave NICU mama even though our stay was short compared to so many other NICU families.

I never knew just how hard the NICU would be, and how excruciatingly painful it was, until my twins were born 5 weeks early. I knew NICU parents were strong and brave, but until you become one you really don’t understand the magnitude.

I was expecting fraternal twins with a due date of 5/26/2020, basically as COVID was blowing up and I had planned a home birth to avoid the hospital restrictions set in place for COVID.

However, on 4/22 my water broke and I knew that meant a hospital birth and more than likely a NICU stay.
On 4/23 my beautiful twins were born at 35+2, they were whisked away to the NICU with my husband and I had to wait hours before I could see them. I didn’t know how they were, what they looked like, nothing.

I found strength within myself I never knew existed over the next 13 days.

We couldn’t introduce our big kids to their siblings they’d been anxiously awaiting to meet.

No grandparents or aunts or uncles could visit.

We had to wear masks and be screened every time we went to see them and I panicked every time thinking I would have a fever and not be able to see my own children.
Leaving a hospital without your baby is the hardest thing any parent will ever do.

Entrusting complete strangers to care for your helpless infants when you can’t, is the bravest thing any parent can do. Those 13 days broke me in ways I never knew possible and made me stronger in ways I could have only ever imagined.

I never wanted to be a NICU mama but I’m grateful for the lessons learned and to know that even though my twins only stayed 13 days, I’m still brave. And we faced not just the NICU, but the NICU during a pandemic which was uncharted territory for everyone at the time.

And 4 months later, these babies are thriving and I owe so much of that to the nurses and NICU staff who helped us do what ever it took to get them home ASAP.”