A Christmas to Remember
It was 1979 and we were excited to learn we were expecting, with a due date of February 6, 1980. Our little one was going to make his/her entrance on my Dad’s birthday, his first grandchild.
Pregnancy was normal until mid December, when I developed pre-eclampsia and was admitted to the hospital. Two weeks later I was advancing into a dangerous area and the decision was made to induce labor.
Christmas Eve and It was time to deliver. Deanna Nicole was welcomed to this world on Christmas Eve, December 24, 1979, 6 weeks early, weighing in at 3 pounds. As is the case with newborns, her weight would drop to 2 lbs+. How can she survive? She would spend the next 6 weeks in the NICU. I can only describe my anxiety, depression, fear as life altering.
At that time, the NICU at Metro Hospital in Cleveland was a large room with ‘rows’ to identify the care required - Row One was Critical Care and Row 4 was Heading Home. Other than mom and dad, no visitors were allowed. After scrubbing up, putting on our gown, hat and shoe covers as if we were going into surgery, we stepped into the Unit. It was overwhelming to see so many isolettes, nurses bustling about and wondering how we would find our little one.
The nurse guided us to Row One - Deanna was in Critical Care. I can’t explain my feelings seeing her for the first time. We were not allowed to touch her. She was so little, she needed her mommy. I told myself and prayed every night, she is a fighter, she will make it through this.
Weeks later she graduated to Row 2 and we realized she was not only a fighter, she was independent and determined. We were also allowed to hold her for short periods of time.
First challenge, she would forget to breathe. Problem resolved - IV bag hooked to a machine and air was pumped into the bag that mimics her breathing pattern. She was placed on her stomach, on top of the IV bag and for hours we watched her little body go up and down. As subsequent challenges arose, the NICU staff calmly attended to her needs.
On to Row 3 -- I have always said a preemie learns to survive in this world at an early age and develop the fighter, determination and independent personality that they carry through life. There were challenges in Row 3 - Deanna absolutely refused to stop pulling on her IV and feeding tube. NICU nurses resolved problems - IV was inserted in her little head and a Dixie Cup was taped over it. I wish I had taken a picture, no digital cell phones at that time. She progressed quickly through Row 3 and on to Row 4 - heading home once she reached 4 pounds.
Time to go home - Sleep was nonexistent for me. She was still so little, all of the ‘what ifs’ went through my mind. My husband was so calming through this whole process. He was my rock.
Quick note - there were NO preemie clothes at that time. Deanna had a designer wardrobe of doll clothes from Childrens Palace. No preemie diapers were available in stores at that time, only through Pampers delivery.
Through life Deanna has always been an independent, determined person. That little 3 lb preemie became a competitive ice skater, competing across the United States and Europe. She is married to a wonderful guy, has two beautiful children and is a successful business woman. We couldn’t be more proud.
My advice to fellow NICU mom’s -- admit you are struggling and need help, it’s normal. You are the most important person in your baby’s life, take advantage of the support programs available to you and your family. Your mental health is important during these stressful times - talk to your NICU staff, talk to friends and family, it’s okay to cry and let them know your fears. Keeping a journal will allow you to write down your thoughts as you go through this journey. Always remember, your NICU care team has the most advanced equipment and medical technology available.
I am happy to do my part in sewing ‘scent hearts’ for the families in the NICU. There will always be a bond between NICU mom’s.