Alexis

"At only 27 weeks I began with contractions. My husband and I headed to the hospital for a check-up and were admitted right away. To everybody’s surprise, I was one centimeter dilated and the contractions were 4 minutes apart. The high-risk doctor was consulted. Due to my previous complications of subchorionic hematoma and cholestasis of pregnancy, he considered it best to keep me overnight for treatment. The doctors informed us that in the event of going into labor, we should prepare ourselves for our baby to have a long NICU stay. On Friday morning the contractions were non-existent and I was discharged.

The following night the contractions were back. The frequency increased to every 4-5 mins and they were no longer painless. We headed back to the maternity ward. I was admitted and this time I was 2 centimeters dilated. The doctor asked us to stay overnight for observation and continue treatment. In the morning, they began to prepare for the delivery. “I guess it is actually happening”, I said to my husband, holding his hand tightly. “Baby in distress”, I heard them saying. What does that mean? I could not process what was happening. For the first time I had to let my husband’s hand go and it was heart-wrenching. The operating room was loud and cold. I could hear them preparing for surgery. How did I end up having an emergency C-section? “I’m right here”, My husband whispered as he placed his hand over my shoulder. He was again, by my side. I began to feel intense pulling, pushing, and pressure inside my stomach. Then, it all stopped. My husband rushed to see our little girl. Alexis. She was alive. I kissed her forehead before they took her to the NICU.

My goodness, she was so small, 2 pounds 9 ounces. I lay next to her incubator, with my hand gently holding her foot through the porthole. All I wanted was to hold my baby, kiss her, and smell her. But here we were, with my little girl in a plastic box with wires and tubes all over her fragile body. I don’t think I have ever prayed so much in my entire life. I was constantly asking God to keep her safe and healthy.

The neonatal intensive care unit is a world of paradox. It is chaotic yet peaceful. Frightening but hopeful. Intimidating but welcoming. “Hi mom, I am taking care of your baby today”, the nurse said in a soft voice. She then continued to update us on her progress. She was extremely patient in explaining the purpose of each tube, wire, machine, and treatment. On the first day, I had many questions which she responded to graciously. It is incredible how quickly you can learn new vocabulary and understand what each beep means when your daughter's life is on the line. I was amazed and terrified of modern medicine. Her tiny body had to accommodate all the necessary equipment. She was on nasal Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (nCPAP). She had an orogastric tube feeding her through her mouth, an umbilical central line, EKG leads, a temperature probe, and a pulse oximeter. She also received phototherapy to treat jaundice. For the first couple of days, we were unable to hold her. A week later she was stable enough to do skin-to-skin. There are no words I can use to explain the excitement and joy I felt. Feeling her velvety body up against my chest all curled up was just surreal. It gave me the fortitude to stay positive and strong, for her, for my husband, and for myself. As the days went by, it was exciting to see her evolution. First, the nCPAP was gone, next, her central umbilical line. Then she no longer needed phototherapy. It was thrilling to see her lose tubes and wires.

The nurses were true angels. They were not only taking care of Alexis but pushed me to take care of myself. “A granola bar is not lunch!”, they said on multiple occasions and encouraged me to go for a lunchbox. They would ask me how I was doing, and they would genuinely want to know how I was doing. They surely are the heart of health care. I am still beyond grateful to the remarkable team that took care of our girl. Through such a challenging time, they helped us stay calm, focused, and made us feel like parents, not patients. To them, we are one of many, but to us, they were everything. The NICU became our second home for almost two months. I will remember them forever and look back at this journey with great happiness.

Alexis will be one year on September 20th. She has been doing exceptionally great and our fears have slowly begun to disappear. Every follow-up appointment has had a positive outlook and she has been meeting developmental milestones at her own pace. Most importantly, we are elated to have her home, making up for the lost time of snuggles and kisses. She is the happiest little girl, always beaming and with infectious laughter. The two tiny scars from the PICC lines will remind her of what she has been through. They are a medal for her strength and resilience. Although she won't remember her NICU stay, it has already shaped her on becoming who she is, a fighter." -NICU Mom, Mariel