Aubrey

"Looking back on our journey, I don’t think anyone could have ever prepared us for what we were about to go through, sometimes when I think about our NICU journey I myself can’t believe what all we went through.

I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was 20 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER from all my symptoms and my OBGYN not taking me seriously, I stopped feeling the baby move and I knew something was wrong. I was told that day that I had HELLP Syndrome and the odds of my baby or myself surviving were slim and I would be having my baby within the next 48 hours at any attempt to keep us both alive.

On April 28th 2019 I was told I would have an emergency c section as they started to pump me with steroids to try to prepare the baby’s lungs. This day was supposed to be my gender reveal, I was supposed to find out my baby’s gender at a cute party, but instead my baby would be born on this day and I would be fighting and praying to keep us both alive.

At just 24 weeks weighing 1 lb 2oz and 11 inches long my daughter, Aubrey Jean, was born. I had to be out under anesthesia for my c section due to how high risk I was, I remember everyone trying to pull me out of my anesthesia to touch my daughter before she would be rushed to the NICU in a different hospital across town while I continue to fight for my life and recover.

The words denial and disbelief stand out to me as I couldn’t wrap my head around anything that was happening, all I knew at that time was we were alive, but just barely. I didn’t care about myself I just wanted to be by my daughter I wanted to see her, hold her, tell her I love her, tell her mommy and daddy are here and it’ll all be okay but then I was quickly shut down by the fact that we weren’t even in the same hospital.

Three days later I was discharged and went to the NICU to spend the next 142 days with my daughter there. Aubrey road quite the rollercoaster in the NICU, she was the smallest in the NICU for over a month, at her smallest weight she was 15oz, I couldn’t believe it was even possible for a baby to be that small. Aubrey had BPD (chronic lung disease), a large PDA (heart murmur), ROP in both her eyes, very chronic constipation. I remember watching the monitors like it was my full time job, I watched my daughter stop breathing and her heart stop on multiple occasions and to think that was our “norm” in the NICU. We were made to believe that going home was something that may never happen. But as time went on Aubrey got stronger, Aubrey never stopped fighting and neither did we.

After 9 days I finally got to hold Aubrey for the first time and it was magical, I couldn’t believe I was finally holding my baby girl for the first time. Aubrey was intubated for 9 weeks, then on CPAP for another 10 weeks, the last few days in the NICU she was in nasal cannula and when she did room surgery challenges she would do wonderfully where we were lucky enough to come home without oxygen! She was on caffeine to keep her heart beat from stopping or dropping too low, she came home on a heart monitor for the first 3 months. While in the NICU she had multiple X rays, PIC lines, IVs, ultrasounds, EKGs, eye exams /injections, feeding tubes, bloodwork. Most importantly while in the NICU we had a he best support from family and friends who never left our side as well as the NICU staff !

At 142 days, on September 16th, Aubrey Jean got to come home, and it is a day we will always celebrate! Aubrey now is 3 years old, without oxygen or caffeine for her heart. She had started preschool this year and has a smile and personality that will capture anyones heart ! Our journey continues beyond the NICU but Aubrey is strong, brave, and a bundle of joy ! In the NICU it’s important to always remember to advocate for your child and ask of questions to fully understand your child’s conditions and treatments. Aubrey will always be our miracle and every accomplishment she achieved will always be worth celebrating !!" - NICU mom, Ashley