One year ago…
One year ago…
My parents were watching the twins as they were sick with the flu. My mom called me at work in a panic because Lillian was lethargic and they couldn’t get the fever under control. So, as with with most preemies, off to the E.R. we went. (Thankfully my dad could stay home with Ben as Chris had just landed in South Carolina for his uncle’s funeral.)
When we arrived, I was caught off guard by the questions asked of us at the door (have we traveled outside of the country, been in close contact with someone with COVID, do you have COVID symptoms…all the questions that a year later are common to us.) They quickly got us back to the room (HUGE shout out to the nurses and intake staff at Carle for getting us in a room as soon as possible so people would stop asking to see the baby.)
What changed for me was when the nurse and doctor walked into her room with full PPE (gowns, masks, gloves…the whole nine yards.) Between the smell of the sanitizer and what I was seeing, anxiety kicked in and I had a meltdown. Thankfully, with some meds, we got to take Lilly home that evening. But I think in that moment, I think it finally clicked with me that COVID was here and it was serious. Mama bear mode activated…
A few days later, both my husband and I started working from home. I will be the first one to tell you…I’ve worked at home with 4 month olds until I went back to work when they were 7 months old, and then also worked from home when they were 11 months old and a year old…there is NO stage that is easy for parents to work from home with children. You learn to adapt, communicate better, and are way more effective than you once were (when the twins were born, I thought sure, I can handle two kids…no one said a full time job would be part of it too!) I am extremely thankfully for a wonderful boss when the shutdown started. He understood the struggles we were facing and worked with us. One day on the phone, he asked how I was keeping the babies quiet and working…I sent him the photo shown.
While I will sit here and be sad for the things I lost in the past year, time spent with family (some that aren’t with us anymore), time with friends, Ben and Lilly learning skills in daycare with other kids, I will also sit here and be grateful for all the things I got because of shutdown. I got to see my babies smile for the first time, to roll over for the first time and crawl for the first time. We went on more walks, cuddled more, take their first steps, more picture opportunities, etc. All the things I thought I would miss out on by going back to work.
We also learned to LOVE video chatting with family more. Just ask the twins if they want to call mamaw and they know to go grab mommy’s phone so they can blow kisses and more shenigans with mamaw. (Side note…Lilly hates being in a car seat. My dad would talk to her on the phone and do duck sounds to make her happy. I’ll always cherish those calls.) Because the twins had COVID on their birthday, we had a zoom birthday party. It was not the first birthday party Chris and I had envisioned, but the key was we got to spend their first birthday with them, with family watching them destroy cake and opening presents while on a sugar high.
One year later from when the craziness of COVID started…I am extremely proud of these twins that they not only fought having the flu, but they also fought having COVID in November. They are rocking toddler life and hitting milestones wonderfully! I am proud of my husband and I and every other parent who has learned to make working from home possible, while also teaching their children. I am proud of how resourceful we have become as a society. But most importantly, I am proud of everyone who has gained more compassion though this experience and can put that to use in helping others, which is why I am here with Project NICU today and the wonderful people I have got to know along the way. Also, as a society, we realized how powerful technology can be and that it is possible to work distantly. This opens up opportunities for so many people, opportunities that weren’t there before.
The appreciation I had for essential workers grew enormously, which I didn’t think was possible. I am eternally grateful for all the doctors, nurses, first responders, etc. that have continued to help our communities out. I am grateful for the coworkers of mine who continued to show up to work everyday to continue making parts to help our company run (and this appreciation goes out to every production employee out there.) I am also grateful for all the people who reached out to ask how we were doing and how the babies were doing, especially when we were on quarantine.
One year later, vaccines are already out and people can start seeing each other in person safely again. While this experience might have changed a lot for us, I will also appreciate a good hug and look forward to many more of them and for Ben and Lilly to finally be able to see family they have never met.