Read MoreThis is why I think NICU awareness month is such a brilliant idea and needed in order to prepare people and also credit everyone involved in making NICU what it is, including the families who have experienced it.
Read MoreOur story took a hard left and led us down a path of bravery we were never ready to take. Ready or not, my husband and I braved it together.
Read MoreAfter more than three years of struggling with infertility due to PCOS, my husband and I miraculously conceived naturally, two months before we were planning to start fertility treatments. We got an even bigger blessing when we found out we were having twins, a boy and a girl. I was having a pretty smooth pregnancy- not many uncomfortable symptoms, and all of my appointments were going well. My last appointment was a level 2 ultrasound at 24 weeks. The night of 25 weeks 5 days, I had trouble sleeping, had very mild lower back pain (which my doctor had said was normal) and I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. At 5am, I got one cramp, rushed to the bathroom, and my mucus plug fell out. My husband woke up, called 911, and began to help me.
Read MoreI feel most importantly, I learned that it’s okay to speak up and demand more. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Being my baby’s advocate was (and still is) my number one priority. Finally, our experience showed the importance of leaning on your partner and being there for one another. My husband was so patient and gentle with me. He would encourage me to take walks, to get out and breathe fresh air, even if it was just for a few minutes. This was so important.
Read MoreWe watched our little guy fight and show us how strong he is. That week was hard, and something I would never want anyone to have to experience. But here we are almost two years later and I look back positively on that week. Our story might not be your typical NICU story but we are NICU survivors.
Read MoreWe have been through a few years of preschool and even a preschool “graduation” but there was something about watching my little peanut march proudly in his pint size cap and gown today that made me catch my breath.
Read MoreNow you have a baby that was born too soon. No one can understand what you are going through other than other NICU parents. This is not for the weak. You become more medically versed than you ever expected in your life and you literally watch the tiniest human you have ever seen fight for their life. You assume your family and friends will understand what you are going through automatically and that they will know the type of support that you need, but that really is not the case. Instead things can be said or done that hurt you because they do not realize what things you might be sensitive to now that you are a NICU mommy or daddy. I call this the NICU Insensitivity.
Despite the mixed flavor emotions I would reach into each morning, I always felt an overwhelming amount of love for my boys and my husband. That love gave me the pick-me-up I needed to get out of bed each morning and not only worry about what Rowan needed, but what I needed, as well. Self-care for my mental health during our NICU stay meant taking care of not just my body, but my heart and soul, too. This was no easy task when I was grieving one baby and simultaneously celebrating each ounce of growth of the other.
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Read MoreMental health was not something anyone talked to me about besides the casual “how are you feeling”. After answering the standard survey given before discharge, it’s clear I was a prime candidate for postpartum depression. The answer - prescribe me Zoloft and send me on my way. I was told it would help me process my journey and keep me “stable” emotionally. I ended my Zoloft prescription 6 months later due to many different side effects.
Read MoreHELLP Syndrome took so much from our family. It took away the chance to carry our daughter full term, because of its effects and the high risk of this happening again (possibly even worse) it took away the option of our family expanding beyond one child. Instead of a peaceful birth experience, ours was filled with anxiety and fear both for myself and most especially for my husband who stood by my side every step of the way and never wavered. His strength to this day amazes me.
Read MoreMy daughter is a NEC survivor. NEC or Necrotizing Enterocolitis is a devastating disease that largely affects preemies, born prior to 28 weeks, and more commonly with a low birth weight. It usually occurs within the first several weeks of life and is stimulated by the start of tube feeding. NEC is the leading cause of death in the NIC and 15% of survivors go on to develop other complications.
Read MoreThe months and honestly years to follow is where I was really able to recognize the pain and trauma associated with Harper’s birth and NICU time to understand how it impacted me. I really didn’t talk to anyone except my husband about the events that took place during Harper’s birth or details about our NICU stay because it brought up too many hard emotions. It was so hard to look back at photos from her birth and the littlest things would put me into full panic as if I was living those scary moments all over again in the present even over a year after her birth...that’s when I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. Although that didn’t come as a surprise, it was helpful to understand what I was experiencing was not just typical motherhood worrying or anxiety and could begin to understand how to heal. It definitely made the pregnancy and birth of my second daughter full of anxiety as if I was waiting for something bad to happen again. That experience can leave you stuck in a place of fear and constant worry for your child’s life even when no real danger exists. It can leave you with many unanswered questions like “why did this happen” or “what did I do to cause this to happen” and then as if that’s not enough, you can feel tremendous guilt for not just being able to be grateful you have a healthy baby and move on...even though I am so grateful that it’s actually painful. The guilt created more questions like “why were we so lucky when so many others are not?”. My experience just like many others was totally unexpected and not “normal” in any way...the shock of it all can leave you in a very fearful state long after it’s over.
Read MoreStarting a family. Pregnancy loss. Infertility. These are journeys that no one can prepare you for. Journeys that until you’ve lived them, you will never truly understand. Journeys that will give you your highest highs and your lowest lows. Journeys that most people travel alone. We did. But the more we reflect on that journey, we have come to realize that it needs to be shared because you see, it was the greatest journey of our lives. If our story can help just one person find hope, or a shoulder to lean on, or just someone to relate to, then it’s worth sharing.
Read MoreThere was a major setback one day where he was almost ready to come home and then choked on a bottle and had a few Brady's, which earned him an extended stay. I broke down, completely devastated and so angry that my child had to experience this, that my body failed us, failed him, and I was terrified that we would lose the battle.
Read MoreBeing a first time mom is scary, but being a first time mom and having a premature baby is something I never expected. Luke spent 6 days in the NICU and I was an emotional wreck, but we made it.