Read MoreFor moms who want to breastfeed, whether that be by pumping, nursing, or both, here are tips that I hope will be helpful during your nicu stay.
Read MoreAs soon as my sister’s milk came in- the first thing she did after feeding her own child was to pump for mine. She fed my child when I couldn’t. For anyone who has ever pumped, you know what a sacrifice that is. For anyone who has ever pumped and taken care of three children, you know that it’s practically impossible. It’s a truly selfless act.
Read MoreFor moms who want to breastfeed, whether that be by pumping, nursing, or both, here are tips that I hope will be helpful during your nicu stay.
Read MoreBefore you were “you” we ached for the idea of you. Like so many, we ached for a family. We were two moms who desperately wanted a child to love. After multiple tests, eight IUI attempts, trigger shots and prescriptions, a miscarriage and emotional highs and lows we found out that there were TWO of “you.” In that moment we knew that we would love you both wildly.
Read MoreWhen you become a parent, you secretly plan out all the things your child will do, milestones they’ll reach or moments in their life. First bicycle. First car. Graduate from college. You imagine them in your head.
What happens when that vision changes? What will you do? How will you react?
This is the life of the NICU. A swirling microcosm of controlled chaos.
Read MoreThey say your baby’s first breath is the most powerful sight but let me tell you, seeing Johnathan breathe for the first time without a machine was truly a miraculous and surreal feeling.
Read MoreI remember the first time my husband and I went to visit our preemie in the NICU, I was so afraid that washing our hands wasn´t enough to prevent him from catching some sort of virus or infection. With all the reassurance from the nurses, washing our hands frequently, never touching our faces, disinfecting our smart phones, and using the provided clean robes, our little preemie did not catch any virus or bug that his older brother caught while going to school. After just one week in the NICU (in December 2017) my hands became chapped and raw.
Read MoreExpecting Mama… New Mama...
I've sat in your chair.
You know, the one that you rock in alone, thinking about the things you have missed out on.
The one that hugs you, as your memory reminds you of all the plans you had made for this pregnancy, birth and homecoming.
The one that you sink into as you are left to think about the what if's and why me's.
Read MoreWould I have ever been so grateful for mundane moments like that one, had I not been nearly destroyed by the fear that I might never get them? There is beauty in even the ugliest of experiences. It trickles in sometimes long after, and when it does, you can’t possibly miss it. It’s glorious.
Read MoreHaving a sick kid takes practice. We’re two years in and I feel like we’re still working at it. (Like, I had to go back and change some I’s to we’s in that last sentence because even two years in, I still default to seeing it as a solo thing. It’s not.) I know this might seem discouraging, but give me a minute and I think you’ll see the value of realism in this approach.
Read MoreI remember repeatedly telling the staff I had taken my nursing cap off the second I was admitted. I was just a worried, scared and overprotective mom who wanted to do everything and anything possible to help her child make it through the future unknowns. I then came to the conclusion that this whole journey was out of my control and that patience was absolute key to getting through this…
Read MoreThere was a major setback one day where he was almost ready to come home and then choked on a bottle and had a few Brady's, which earned him an extended stay. I broke down, completely devastated and so angry that my child had to experience this, that my body failed us, failed him, and I was terrified that we would lose the battle.
Read MoreReality hit me when I was able to touch our daughter for the first time at 5 days old. Prior to that, I was looking at her through the walls of her plastic castle ~ her new home for the next few months. She was hooked up to tubes and wires galore, tucked in so tight I could barely even see her body. In the very beginning she was covered by a plastic bubble to keep her warm. I can't begin to tell you how hard that was to not fully be able to see my tiny newborn baby that was hidden under all the equipment. Every mother deserves the right to touch and hold their newborn baby, an experience that I did not get to have. I was so sick myself, which may have been another reason reality didn't hit me right away. I was battling being septic for the third time, my body was tired and broke down at that point. I fought hard for her to keep her from entering the outside world, but we couldn't endure another moment of the sickness that overcame my body.
Read MoreI would see other Momma's pushing their babies, and I so badly wanted to tell them I had a baby too.
Read MoreYou hear people talk about their baby being in the NICU. You think, “oh gosh, that must be so hard!” But until you’re actually a NICU parent yourself, you don’t actually know how hard it really is. I still have anxieties about my baby, I still replay the moments he spent on the NICU and I still worry about him every second of the day. But I am so thankful for the experience because I love him harder than I ever could have imagined.